fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
