isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
When are your genitals available?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
