My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
