I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
