So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
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