I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
