i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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