Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
