he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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