As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize