I'm gonna have a badass scar
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
