I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
