how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
