If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize