Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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