hotel room ftw
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
