your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
