I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Life is so much better after having sex.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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