Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
