I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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