How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
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