After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
