Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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