It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
