Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
