Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
