some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
The Olympian is in my bed
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
