Whod you bang
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize