There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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