You're my little dorito
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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