Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
