he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
