Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
