and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize