Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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