i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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