he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
