Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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