I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
