i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Houston, we have a blender
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
