Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
The feeling are messing with the penis
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
