just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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