if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
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