I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
