butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
