Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
