No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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