remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
