GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize