i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
