He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
