You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
