She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
