I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize