I want to stick my p in your. b.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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