and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
