While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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