Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
