OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
