It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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