Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
